Kieran, I love your sentence where you compare the sound the thunder makes to a great, big lion. I can hear the sound of the thunder as I read your piece of writing; fantastic! Could you replace the word 'hard' with a word that is much more specific/descriptive?
Kieran i like the words thunder and lightning strikes.tj
ReplyDeleteKieran, I love your sentence where you compare the sound the thunder makes to a great, big lion. I can hear the sound of the thunder as I read your piece of writing; fantastic! Could you replace the word 'hard' with a word that is much more specific/descriptive?
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my storm writing. Next time I'll replace hard with fiercely or noisily.
ReplyDeleteOh those words would be amazing! What a fantastic idea! That would improve your writing so much :-D
DeleteI like how you described the splashes and soggy grass.By kate
ReplyDeletevery good Kieran nice by bradley
ReplyDeletekieran what an a amazing effort I like how you describe the strong wind.Keep up the amazing effort.
ReplyDelete